Phantom Pregnancy

I take a pretty dim view of gynecology, and whatever I think of modern gynecology (and that's unprintable enough) it's nothing to what I think of archaic gynecology. Even still, I have assumed, like archaic gynecologists, that phantom pregnancies are the product of a certain hysteria (though I have assumed that the hysteria was caused, not by being female, but rather by a corset-induced lack of oxygen to the brain and resulting weakening of the cardiovascular system).

But the goat who is 16 (the equivalent of 90 for a human) has just had a phantom pregnancy and there's nothing hysterical about her. She has no mobid fancies and she is not trying desperately to produce an heir to the English throne*.

I don't believe I have ever had a conversation on the topic of phantom pregnancies so no one has ever had to suffer from my ignorance. Nevertheless, I would like to apologise for my misconception which is damaging, oppressive and hurtful.



*I know Mary Tudor had a tumour, now conjectured to be cancerous, and is not strictly an example of a phantom pregnancy. But her case demonstrates the historical attitude to phantom pregnancy, and anyway, as Richie says in Filthy, Rich and Catflap after a line which equals mine in hilarity, 'It was just a joke[sic] we were doing'. BlueJ thinks I'm funny (sometimes), so there.